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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 243
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:38 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet is because nobody was
married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest
T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara, and of course, Opie -- all single. The
only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
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johnboy
Full Curbster


Joined: 27 May 2011
Age: 2017
Posts: 571
Location: Rouyn-Noranda, Qc

1968 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:48 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Hayzousse G-Man, That's a real good one...
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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 56
Posts: 7941
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:26 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

That's one funny Hooter joke right there ^
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2179
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:35 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"
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Jan Ove
Full Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1410
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 3:14 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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Jan Ove
Full Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1410
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:21 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

An office supplies company in a small suburban town noticed that a local church had stopped placing it's regular orders, and so the manager called to see what the problem might be.

The minister responded, and was obviously not happy.

"I'll tell you why we stopped ordering from you" shouted the minister angrily.
"Our church ordered some pencils from you for use in the pews for visitors to register".

The store manager, puzzled, responded, "I don't understand what the problem is, didn't you receive them yet?"

"Oh yes, we received them all right," replied the minister.
"The pencils that you sent were golf pencils... every one was stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday'".
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2179
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 7:53 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A married woman is having an affair...

Whenever her lover arrives, she puts her young son in the closet.

One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and hurries her lover into the closet as well...

Inside the closet, the little boy asks, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is" replies the man...

"Wanna buy a baseball?" asks the boy...

"No, thanks" replies the man...

"I think you wanna buy a baseball" replies the little extortionist...

"OK, how much?" asks the man...

"Twenty-five dollars" comes the reply.

"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?" exclaims the man, "that's awful expensive for a baseball"... But because of the position he's in, the man agrees and the exchange is made.

The following week, the lover is again visiting the woman when she hears a car in the driveway and the man scurries for the closet.

"It's dark in here, isn't it?" begins the boy...

"Yes, it is" replies the man...

"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" asks the boy...

"How much?" replies the hiding lover, acknowledging his disadvantage...

"Fifty dollars..." comes the reply, and the transaction is completed.

"A week later, the father comes home and says, "hey, son, I'm home early! Get your ball and glove and let's play catch!"

"I can't," began the reply, "I sold them!"

"You sold them? How much did you get for them?" asked the father.

"Seventy-five dollars!" spouted the boy.

"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS!" exclaimed the father, "I don't know whether to be proud or horrified - that sounds like thievery to me! Get in the car - I'm taking you to church to confess your sin!"

In church, the little boy shuffles into the confessional, closes the curtain, sits down, and begins, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The priest replies, "Don't you start that crap in here!"
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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 243
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 8:19 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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