The Curb

G68 · Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:46 pm Post subject:

"Over here on the swing," replied the Drunk.

bellylaugh

TheRktmn · Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:07 am Post subject:

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father
sat him down for a little chat.

He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my
wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my
pants, handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here -
try these on.'

She did and said, 'These are too big I can't wear
them.'

I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family
and I always will.'

Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good
thing to try. On his honeymoon, Mike took off his
pants and said to Karen, "Here - try these on."

She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They
don't fit me."

Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family
and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget
that."

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike.
She said, "Here - you try on mine."

He did and said, "I can't get into your pants."

Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your
smart ass attitude, you never will."

mo2872 · Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2020 7:48 am Post subject:

G68 · Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2020 3:46 pm Post subject:

mo2872 · Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2021 10:03 am Post subject:

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Rory Mcllroy drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.

An attendant greets him in a typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is.

"Top of the mornin' to ya."

As Rory gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.

"What are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Rory.

"And what would ya be usin' 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Rory.

"Aw, Jaysus, !" exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything."*

TheRktmn · Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2021 10:58 am Post subject:

mo2872 · Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2021 1:01 pm Post subject:

89 year old Ron Chester was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife.�

mo2872 · Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 1:27 pm Post subject:

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ...

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted.

G68 · Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 3:32 pm Post subject:

I hate Basketball