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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 60
Posts: 8644
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2020 8:54 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
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johnboy
Full Curbster


Joined: 27 May 2011
Age: 2020
Posts: 644
Location: La Corne, Quebec, Canada

1968 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2020 2:07 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

wowsers, catching up are you?
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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 60
Posts: 8644
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2021 9:04 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub and order a pint of beer each.
Right after they’ve been served, three flies come and each of them land in one of the glasses.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his beer aside and calls for another one.
The Irishman doesn’t look too pleased either, but he takes out the fly and takes a big sip of beer.
The Scotsman looks most irritated of all, reaches into his glass, pinches the fly in between two fingers while yelling: “Spit it oot!!!”
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 49
Posts: 2376
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2021 10:01 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 60
Posts: 8644
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2021 4:21 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Husband: I changed a light bulb today.

Wife: That's it? I did the laundry, vacuumed the house, washed windows, cooked three meals, and the list goes on and on.... and you changed a single light bulb?

Husband: Yep, that's what I did.... I even filmed myself doing it.

Click here to watch : <a href="https://youtu.be/f1BgzIZRfT8">Click me (NARR)</a>
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Wombat
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 71
Posts: 1299
Location: Brisbane, Australia


PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2021 12:49 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Gives me the heebies even watching the video
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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 60
Posts: 8644
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 11:07 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on EBAY anymore) and peeled the NRA sticker off my rear window.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.

Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flagpole.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.

I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought a burka for me to wear when I shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat me down.

If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feeling like a woman today.

Hot Damn… Safe at last.
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