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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2177
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:15 am    Post subject:   Reply with quote

So, when the Taurus first came out in '86, my dad just had to have one. Turned out it was a lemon, while still under warranty, had 3 trannies in 6 mos. Finally got the dealer to do the "lemon law" of the time, and ended up with a new '88 Taurus. Well, while me, my older brother, and my mother were in the car waiting for dad to finish some paperwork, somehow we got on the subject of dying.

My brother informed our mother that he would want to be cremated, not buried.
Of course, you can imagine a mother's response to her teenage son saying this..."What? Why would you want to do that?"
My brother, ever the logical thinker, says, "Well, you don't have all the cost of the casket, the plot, etc, and you return to nature quicker."
Well, mom didn't like that answer, so she thought for a moment, and asked, "Well, what will you do when Christ returns, and you have no body?"

Without missing a beat, my brother, and I swear this really happened, said, "Well, I guess I'll be a walking, talking, BADASH"

T3
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Todd
I really like your sister, but your mom does that thing with her tongue.....
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ColdCougar
Street Walker


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1172
Location: Facebook, NY, USA

2004 Jeep Wrangler

PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 11:18 am    Post subject:   Reply with quote


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That Rabbit is DYNAMITE !!
DEATH AWAITS YOU ALL ...
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Bricklyn
FNG Curbster


Joined: 08 Jan 2008
Posts: 423
Location: Facebook, Far NW Burbs of Chicago

1969 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:05 am    Post subject:   Reply with quote

An Amish farmer walking notices a man drinking from
his pond with his hand.

The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die
kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." Which means: "Don't
drink the water, the cows have shit in it."

The man shouts back: "I'm from New York and just
down here campaigning for Hillary, I can't
understand you. Please speak in English."

The Amish man says: "Use two hands, you'll get
more."
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2177
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:19 am    Post subject:   Reply with quote



Just say "NO!" to Hitlery!
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Todd
I really like your sister, but your mom does that thing with her tongue.....
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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 56
Posts: 7936
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 5:06 am    Post subject:   Reply with quote


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<b>Rocketman's Classic Cougar Innovations</b>
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1968w427gte
Street Walker


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 60
Posts: 783
Location: KY, USA

1967 Mercury Cougar GT

PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 5:51 am    Post subject:   Reply with quote


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Texrep
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 60
Posts: 825
Location: Lemoore, Cali, USA


PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 1:16 pm    Post subject:   Reply with quote

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"
When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But, Mary didn't stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt. "Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret.
And, the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep. The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
The Nun fainted...
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Curbsters RULE!!! now gimme a beer!!
I know where I'm going... But what's the handbasket for??
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2177
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 2:55 pm    Post subject:   Reply with quote



Now that's fookin funny!
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T3
Todd
I really like your sister, but your mom does that thing with her tongue.....
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Bricklyn
FNG Curbster


Joined: 08 Jan 2008
Posts: 423
Location: Facebook, Far NW Burbs of Chicago

1969 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:49 pm    Post subject:   Reply with quote

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

I was shopping at the local
supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt
to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as
I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases,
the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I
was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I
was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the
belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to
my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well,
you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on
earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
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Texrep
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 60
Posts: 825
Location: Lemoore, Cali, USA


PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:25 pm    Post subject:   Reply with quote

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, 'How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy.'
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy, but on the way home he remembered his wife, didn't like his father . So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly b*%&h he's runnin' around with.'
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