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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 8035
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 8:19 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

You forgot the

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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 268
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 8:41 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

mo2872 wrote:
A Mexican Magician said he would disappear on the count of 3... He counted:

Uno... Dos...

*POOF!* he was gone!

He disappeared without a Tres...



_________________
Grant

"If I wasn't here, I would probably be somewhere else"
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johnboy
Full Curbster


Joined: 27 May 2011
Age: 2017
Posts: 581
Location: Rouyn-Noranda, Qc

1968 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 7:36 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

just heard the expression
"This place is deader than a Texas salad bar" :rofl:
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Jan Ove
Full Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1420
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:50 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A man walked into a dress shop and told the clerk he wanted to buy an evening gown for his wife as a surprise.

"What size?" asked the clerk.

The man shrugged blankly.

Trying to help, the clerk inquired, "Well then, what are your wife's measurements?"

The man thought for a moment. "Small, medium, large and in that order."
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Jan Ove
Full Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1420
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 3:58 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

This couple comes to a new town and the guy gets a job at the local pickle factory. A few years go by and each year he wins the employee of the year award. One day in the 3rd year, he comes home looking all depressed.

His wife asks him what the matter is, to which he responds that he got fired.

"FIRED?!? How can you get fired, you're always employee of the year!!" she asked, stunned.

To this he responds that he had another fantasy that he needed to fulfill and it got him fired...

"Oh no, not again...What did you do this time?" she asks.

"Well, I always fantasized about sticking my 'you know what' in the pickle slicer."

"You didn't!" she hoped.

He blushed and replied, "Well, yes I did."

Then she asks, "Did it hurt?"

"No, not really," answers the man.

Puzzled she then asks, "Well what happened to the pickle slicer??"

He answers, "Oh, she got fired too!"
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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 8035
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:59 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

After a long day's work in the lab, Pavlov sits down in the pub for a cold beer and some snacks.
Everything's calm, until somebody rings the bell for the waiter.
Pavlov immediately tenses up, jumps from his chair (almost knocking over his pint), exclaiming: "Holy shit! I have to feed the damn dog!"
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 7:27 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 268
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:16 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Wife
--"Where the hell have you been? You said you'd be done with golf by noon."

Husband
--"I'm so sorry Honey....but you probably don't want to hear the reason."

Wife--"I want the truth, and I want it NOW!"

Husband--"Fine. We finished in under 4 hours; a quick beer in the Clubhouse’'. I hopped into the car, and would have been here by 12 noon but on the way home, I spotted a
girl half our age struggling with a flat tire.

I changed it in a jiffy, and next she's offering me money. Of course I refuse it, then she tells me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton and begs me to stop by so she can buy me a beer. She's such a sweetie, I said yes.

Before you know it, one beer turned into three or four, and I guess we were looking pretty good to each other.

Then she tells me she has a room right there at the Sheraton, less than 50 steps from our table. She suggested we get some privacy while pulling me by the hand.

Now I'm in her room...clothes are flying...the talking stopped…and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable. It must have gone on for hours, because before I know it, the clock says 5:30. I jump up, throw my clothes on, run to the car, and here I am. There. You wanted the truth... You got it.

Wife--"Bullshit! You played 36 holes, didn't you?"
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