The Curb

G68 · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 10:40 am Post subject:

_________________
Grant

"If I wasn't here, I would probably be somewhere else"

Jan Ove · Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:27 am Post subject:

A young man watched an elderly couple sit down to lunch at a restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup.

As he watched, the old man carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries � one for him, one for her, until each had an even number.

Then the old man poured half the soft drink into the extra cup and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat and his wife sat watching with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man hesitated, then approached the couple and asked if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they wouldn't have to split theirs.

The old man said, "Oh no. We've been married for 50 years, and everything has always been, and always will be shared 50-50."

The young man asked the old woman if she was going to eat.

"Later," she replied. "It's his turn with the teeth."

Wombat · Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:12 am Post subject:

That one has got to be zotable

-

maybe not - can't find another one

irreverantScamp · Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 6:21 pm Post subject:

Memory says

Is there a statute O' limitation on Zots?

mo2872 · Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:58 am Post subject:

The biggest difference between Dubai & Abu Dhabi?

Dubai does not allow The Flintstone's cartoons................but Abu Dhabi Do!

mo2872 · Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:59 am Post subject:

I called an old school friend and asked him what he was doing.

He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment".

I was impressed......

On further inquiring I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water.....under his wife's supervision.

Jan Ove · Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:31 am Post subject:

TheRktmn · Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:44 am Post subject:

mo2872 · Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:11 am Post subject:

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: "I've got problems.
Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"One hundred fifty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
"Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?" He asked.
"Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck."
"Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude he said, "And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Nobody under there now."
It's always better to get a second opinion!!!

mo2872 · Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:51 am Post subject:

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one.

"Me too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more.

"I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.

"Me neither. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun," said the second.

They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up.

As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I just love 'baskin' robins.'"