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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 268
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 10:40 am    Post subject:   Reply with quote


_________________
Grant

"If I wasn't here, I would probably be somewhere else"
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Jan Ove
Full Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1420
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:27 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A young man watched an elderly couple sit down to lunch at a restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup.

As he watched, the old man carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries one for him, one for her, until each had an even number.

Then the old man poured half the soft drink into the extra cup and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat and his wife sat watching with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man hesitated, then approached the couple and asked if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they wouldn't have to split theirs.

The old man said, "Oh no. We've been married for 50 years, and everything has always been, and always will be shared 50-50."

The young man asked the old woman if she was going to eat.

"Later," she replied. "It's his turn with the teeth."
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Wombat
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 68
Posts: 1245
Location: Brisbane, Australia


PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:12 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

That one has got to be zotable -

maybe not - can't find another one
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irreverantScamp
Full Curbster


Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Age: 54
Posts: 1487
Location: A Socialists paradise

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 6:21 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Memory says Is there a statute O' limitation on Zots?
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:58 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

The biggest difference between Dubai & Abu Dhabi?

Dubai does not allow The Flintstone's cartoons................but Abu Dhabi Do!
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:59 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

I called an old school friend and asked him what he was doing.


He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment".

I was impressed......

On further inquiring I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water.....under his wife's supervision.
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Jan Ove
Full Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1420
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:31 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 8035
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:44 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:11 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: "I've got problems.
Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"One hundred fifty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
"Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?" He asked.
"Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck."
"Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude he said, "And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Nobody under there now."
It's always better to get a second opinion!!!
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:51 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one.

"Me too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more.

"I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.

"Me neither. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun," said the second.

They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up.

As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I just love 'baskin' robins.'"
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