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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:45 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street, pronounced (Peek’aboo), is not just an athlete, she is also a nurse who currently works in the Intensive Care Unit (I.C.U.) of a large metropolitan hospital.
She is a fine nurse, however, Picabo is not permitted to answer the telephone because too much confusion ensues when she answers the phone and says…..

“Picabo, I.C.U.”
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Jan Ove
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Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1420
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:36 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:04 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 1:59 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

80-year old Mildred bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.

She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?”

Mildred thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
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Jan Ove
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Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1420
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:22 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 268
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 8:36 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."
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TheRktmn
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 8035
Location: TX, USA

1969 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 4:46 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Two gents are drinking in a bar.
One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 5 to 10 times a day?"
"Aww, shit!" says his friend "I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"
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mo2872
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Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2209
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:25 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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johnboy
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Joined: 27 May 2011
Age: 2017
Posts: 581
Location: Rouyn-Noranda, Qc

1968 Mercury Cougar XR7

PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 10:58 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

What about freemasons?

I knew one of their Grand Poobahs along time ago ...
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Jan Ove
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Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1420
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2017 4:59 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she prays earnestly for God to allow him to speak to her.

"Hello Margaret, this is Fred."

"Fred!" she exclaimed. "I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. I lack for nothing; the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."

"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried.

"Heaven?" he answered. "I'm a buffalo in Montana.
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