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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2179
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 3:28 pm    Post subject:   Reply with quote


_________________
T3
Todd
I really like your sister, but your mom does that thing with her tongue.....
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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 243
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:37 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.
 
Tom wanted two things:
   To learn how to invest his inheritance
   To find a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
 
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.
 
Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.
 
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2179
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:46 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2179
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:19 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Wife> What rhymes with orange!

Me> No it doesn't ...
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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 243
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:29 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

! Who's on first?
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2179
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2017 8:02 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

My bride asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2179
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2017 10:43 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client.
"I have some good news, and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day. Give me the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me
that she just invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15 million to $20 million, and I think she could be right."

Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."
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Jan Ove
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Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1410
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2017 12:58 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and
everything seems fine.

The doctor asks him about his sex life.

"Well..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest.

The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around.

In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three
girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."

"My goodness Frank, and at your age too." the doctor said.

"I hope you took at least some precautions."

"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave 'em all a phony name."
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2017
Posts: 2179
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 10:42 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A few days after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Bar Harbor, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced Harbor Master officers.

"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife."

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.

One officer said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news"!

Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."

The officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."

"Lord sufferin' Jesus!" exclaimed Flynn. What could possibly be the good news?"

The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic Lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her.

Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 60's, and we feel you are entitled to a share of the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"

The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 243
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:14 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

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